According to the Seattle Times, software giant Microsoft has just closed a deal to buy the world’s largest search engine for an unprecedented $37 billion in cash and stocks. According to the Times, “Microsoft has decided to abandon its new search engine after just a few short weeks in order to capture the holy grail of search engines, Google. Since going public last summer, Google’s share prices have skyrocketed and never looked back. This had to be a major part of the decision for Microsoft.”
According to an article in SFGate magazine, Bill Gates has an estimated net worth of $46.5 billion, while the collected assets of Google’s co-founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page total about $14.4 billion this year. Brin states, “Google is making out like a bandit on this deal. Microsoft is paying us more than double the market value for Google.”
While Gates could not be reached for comment at press time, Microsoft spokesman, Tom Fooligan stated, “Microsoft is committed to bringing our customers the highest quality software and Internet experience on a Global scale. We see great value in acquiring the world’s largest and best search engine and tend to wrap many Microsoft products into the Google search engine after our initial review period has ended.”
When asked about how Microsoft would wrap its products within Google, Fooligan stated, “Microsoft sees the acquisition of Google as a huge opportunity for cross promotions. The potential for interlocking our two brands is enormous. And if anyone is wondering, there is no immediate plans to change the name Google at this time, though the name Moogle has been suggested by our marketing department.” Fooligan went on to say that Moogle may take on a cow theme along with the Microsoft and Google logos imbedded in all of its graphics.
The Microsoft acquisition of Google still has to pass federal antitrust laws and acceptance from several bureaus including the Federal Trade Commission and Department of Justice. In fact, the FTC has made a preemptory, two word comment regarding this announcement, “April” and “Fools”. Keep smiling.
